One of a Kind

Elizabeth "Freddie" VanderSchaaf passed away on Thursday, March 19. Pastor Bob and myself had the honor of officiating at her memorial service on Saturday evening. You can read her obituary and see a video tribute at this link. This what I shared at the service.

Freddie was a connector. She loved her God, she loved her family and she loved people. But she didn’t want to just meet people and exchange pleasantries, she wanted to connect. She wanted to get to know you, to find out about your family, what you do, where you’re from. And hundreds of other questions! Chances are that if you’ve lived in Cedar Rapids for more than ten years, Freddie knew you.

Sometimes Freddie’s inquisitiveness went too far or got her in trouble. Bill Halderman tells this story about his first encounter with Freddie.

We had been attending New Covenant for a few months when one of the Sundays my wife Marilyn didn’t attend. I found a seat in front of Freddie and Howard next to a friend of 40 years. Giving Adel a hug as we always do when we see each other. After the service Freddie asked me if this was my wife. I told her she was my second wife we were members of the Mormon Church before coming to New Covenant. At that point she was speechless! Not wanting to offend us she just said, “we are glad you’re here.”

And when a relationship or connection wasn’t working out quite right, or as she expected, Freddie would call me. It was such a visit over 15 years ago in my office at church, that our relationship changed. Freddie (and Howard, they always traveled together) set up an appointment and came in to see me. She shared about a hurt, I listened, offered to help, and a friendship was born.

Looking back, that was the day that I became adopted into the VanderSchaaf family. I know many of you know what I mean, because you were adopted too!

Everyone needs a friend who believes the best about you. Who only sees your strengths. And even when you make a mistake or let them down, they overlook the offense and come to your defense.

Freddie was one of those people to me. She gave me far too much credit and overlooked way too many of my weaknesses. She would introduce me to those outside New Covenant this way - “Come here, I want you to meet one of my favorite pastors!” She always introduced me with such pride. I always a little embarrassed and wondered what other people thougth! How many pastors does she have? Does she have some she doesn’t like?

But I came to understand that Freddie had all kinds of favorites! Favorite oldest grandson, favorite middle grandson, favorite youngest granddaughter, favorite oldest son, favorite youngest son, favorite youth pastor, favorite male soloist .... on and on. And of course she had her favorite husband, Howard!

But that was Freddie! She was a one-of-a kind! A big smile always greeted her friends. Freddie loved to connect with old friends and make new ones. Today, might the many memories we have of Freddie be an encouragement to live our lives for eternity – to love God, to love our family and to love people.